Monday monday

kind of feeling like siggghhhh again. Meds were working great, but kind of feel rollercoaster ish now. My brain and bod keep saying "excersise is whatcha need" but my heart says "it's too hot". lol. anyway, just hanging in there, hope you all are as well :)

oh heyyy

Heyyyyy. Been busy with my OTHER blog be sure to check it out! I drew my first winner and posted a new contest. Go forth and enter!

I had to change the banner picture because I'm so hot, and I love winter and snow! I think I'm in the minority but that's ok!

30 days

Tasra and the gang are on day 4 of 30 days to live challenge. I may be a day behind, not sure. But that's ok with me , since Tasra's got all this on her blog, I can catch if I need to.
My ongoing challenge and confession:

I'm afraid I'm not good enough to succeed in Mary Kay Cosmetics. Or have a peaceful life. By peaceful, I mean being able to sleep well knowing my future is finacially secure. That's my big worry, that in 10 years my husband will be almost 60 and I'm afraid he won't physically be able to work. That leaves us so little time to save. He's healthy now pretty much, but he's a heavy smoker, high cholestorol, overweight a big. But in these uncertain times of living paycheck to paycheck....
I was brought up in a large Catholic family, I didn't get the attention I wanted and needed. my folks did the best they could and I won't fault them. we have a good relationship but I still carry that guilt and feeling of "am I worthy"

day 2 of 30 days to no regrets

Tasra's makin' us think again! lol
1- If you were certain your life would end in 30 days, what would be your biggest regret? Why?

I would regret not trying harder at things...stuff. because I'm better than that.

2 What area of your life are you suffering from Someday Syndrome? (SS=one day, when, if only) oh definitely my Mary Kay life.

3 What metaphor would describe your life if you were fully awake and engaged?
No stopping me

4-Find a symbol to represent your metaphor and post it somewhere to remind you.

Maybe the stop sign with a big black line through it.

sleeping

It's 530 am and I can't sleep. I took one over the counter sleeping pill at 830 last night, slept good until 230. Been up since then. I'm supposed to work all day, but my head is killing me. I thought I was hunger so I ate something but now I feel worse. Sighhh! Oh well

check out this It's my new blog!! please leave a comment :)

I feel it's only fair...

To post something good. Something really good. I'm feeling GOOD!!!! I went to the dr and explained I was just overly anxious, to the point of it not being normal. And sad. We discussed options (I love my dr, please don't screw it up Obama) and agreed to try Abilify. And so far after a week, so good! I just feel better than I have in months. Thank goodness. Here's hoping it'll last.

not surprised

I'm not surprised that after a not horrible day yesterday, today would start out shitty. sometimes, I know i'm not cut out for my job. "not lady, we didn't steal your @ sign on your keyboard." "no dude, I don't know where you live"
trying to count my blessings while feeling like screaming.

just felt like blogging.

not feeling too bad today, which if you know me at all, is a very big deal.
took 3 days off and came back feeling a little rested. 32 days straight without a day off is just a bad idea. But had to do it. It's a cool overcast day, I love those kinds of days.
Here's to keep pushing on.

blanket

Little one took one look at the janky, badly sewn, wonky at the edges blanket, started tugging on her ear, yawned and later we took a 2 hour nap with it! So it's a success!

blanket

it's got major issues but that's only because this was made for Madison with so much it's oozing out!


That top picture is just because it's so honkin' cute!