Wednesday, April 29, 2009

my husband



He got me a NICE camera, the camera I wouldn't have dreamed of, for my birthday which isn't until the first. But I wanted to share some pics I took







I'm having a blast with it. I'm very new to SLR of course you can see. I can't wait to get some sunny weather to take more!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy

This song cracks me up.

So true, huh?

I've got an 13+ list of to do items. I got the first 2 done. I'm doing them in order as I hate the chore, lol. Having a hog roast tomorrow for my nephew. He's gotten his permanent orders to go to Virgina Beach, VA for his Air force assignment. Send up prayers for strength for him and his gorgeous wife and baby; and also for his dad (my bro Bobby) and my SIL Debbie. They've always had their family close and this is hard for them. Of course they're proud but still.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

memories

it was 2 years ago April 12 that I found out we miscarried. I was so naive. As I lay on the dr table getting the ultra sound and watching the screen, we could clearly see him. But so silent. I didn't know that's when I was supposed to hear the heartbeat, that sound of life. The nurse had me go pee, and she tried again and still, I just laid there oblivious. She said I could get dressed and told us to go into another room for a bit and someone would come talk to us. And still I sat there with Chris just waiting. Not really knowing or realizing what was going on. Then a lovely woman came in and said she was so sorry but they didn't hear a heartbeat, and they should have.
I just lost it. I remember feeling stupid. Like how could I have managed to get pregnant! of course not. My other blog, http://sneakylittlebugger.blogspot.com/, has more about what happened. Nothing unusual, just a miscarriage. Only it was life to us.
I'll never forget pulling into the driveway after the D & C and seeing a white dove or some kind of white bird, on our barn roof. I pointed it out to my husband and said "that's him. I think he's just making sure we made it home ok" I've never seen a dove out here and haven't since.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

whoa sinuses, who's the boss here

evidently, they (the sinuses) are the boss. And they're raising hell.
Had a great time with Madison Tuesday. She had a little stuffy nose (lil bit, as she sweetly says). And of course I got sick after she left. Must have been all the kisses I was stealing from here! lol.
So I didn't work hardly at all this week which sux for my pay check but what can I say? I was/am sick. Tomorrow's Easter and I'll probably spend it home sick instead of going to my parents. My husband has taken good care of me, stopping to get me junk food * and stuff.
Speaking of husbands, we celebrated our 15 year anniversary. He got me a bug:



I've wanted one of them for a while, and was bidding on one on ebay. Then I accidently bought it! But I got a good deal and it's on its way. I dreamed they delivered it today, but no such luck.


* my weight, omg, it's over 144! I'm only 5 feet. But it was weird, when I saw the scale I didn't get mad or scared. I just said ok it's time. time stop all the junk food, drinking, etc. And I didn't even feel stressed the way I normally due when I think about changing my eating habits. Today when Chris got me 'junk' food, it was a grilled chicken sandwich, and yes fries too. But that's probably all I'm likely to eat because of not being able to taste much. Yesterday I followed good sensible guidelines and ate good. And as soon as I'm not sick I'll start working out again. I know this weight will come off, I'm not even worried. I'm not obsessing over what I can't have or anything!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

what's worked for you?

this has been a really good week, I'm so relieved to say!
1-our tiny towns' pizza joint, Shrack Daddy's, is delivering again!!
2-McRib is back (for now)
3-my taxes are DONE. I was really stressing over it. In fact, my accountant stopped midsentence and said "are you ok? are you cold? or just nervous?" I said "nervous! I feel like I've been called to the principals office!" I hate taxes, I hate never knowing if we'll owe or not. Especially now that i work for myself. Luckily we're getting a refund, and my accounts are helping me get this set up better for next year.
4-My husbands hours at work have picked up which is so great!

Elizabeth from Creative Breathing commented on my last entry asking if I suffer from depression. Most definitely. I've been on medication for it for almost 10 years. I don't mind the medication, although it leaves me with what I can only describe as a dead unfeeling feeling inside. Sluggish I guess. But it's what I have to do, at least for now. I'm not strong enough to pull myself up by my bootstraps right now and be happier. But I'm wondering if anyone has any advice for something more homeopathic for fighting depression? I know for sure sex (hee hee), and exercise are a huge help. But what about vitamins for example?

This week promises to be better because I get to have a sleepover tomorrow with Madison!